Whenever I’m alone, I always thought of this, “if he really LOVED me, why he didn’t tell me directly? if he really LOVED me, why he choose to leave me alone? And if he really LOVED me, why he hurt me this way?"
I don’t know what's with him, don’t know his plan is. But, it’s over. We’re over. No MUST more hard feelings.
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I don’t know what came into my mind and I approached him unexpectedly. So sudden that I can't move away from there. Asked him a silly question. Then he answer, “:D”. How’s that? Isn’t that so stupid too? But, it made me realized that I miss that grin. The one he always does whenever I’m talking to him. Again, it made me realized that we can’t turn back the time. It’s really over, and I’ am very miserable about that.
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I was with a friend, early this afternoon. She favored me to come with her with our superior. I go with her. She left me back there. When she goes inside a glass covered room, I saw this guy who’s front of my place. His back is very familiar, likewise, I already felt, don’t know the feeling when I was staring to that back of this man. His hair was long, he wears an earring. It feels eternity, to stare in that figure. *sigh* It was so hard, very difficult thing. Forgetting someone who grabbed your heart and let him torn it apart. Hallucinating every single moment. Reminiscing those memoirs. Day dreaming about the future. Always to be with him. *sigh*
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I hoped. Crossed my fingers. Prayed to God. Wished on star. Blown my fallen lashes. But nothing else, even myself stop this feeling. This sentiment that still exist. For a guy, whom I really loved for the first time.
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Noted: Someone told me I must express my feelings. My emotions. If not, I will die for not having peace of mind. Nice joke. But, He must be right. If my, well, the one who is concern with this blog. “Damn you! Please don’t react! Be numb!” LOL. Well, it’s a good thing that friendster have this kind of space. Thanks!
PS: this is originally from my friendster blog.
Labels: love
alweena
has stopped writing foolishness at 18:42
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